Friday, May 23, 2008

What I Remember!

I remember that as a little girl I would pass away hours thinking about what my life would be like when I grew up. I don't remember much about those dreams except that I loved babies. Oh,and I dreamed about Elvis Presley and the Beatles.

I remember God always being present in my life. Early on in my forming someone made sure that I heard the stories about Moses, David, Daniel, Ruth, Rahab, and Hannah. I remember lots of fear and wondering about being loved. My family was not a healthy one. I remember lots of schools and never feeling like I belonged. The list is long, but then again, my life could have been so much worse. I hear lots of stories that are true and tragic. I am grateful that I am not as crazy as I could be.

The last two years of my life have been crappy, but they could have been worse. I have not been beaten, raped, or had to run for my life. I have been lied to and deceived. I have compromised my own integrity and honesty. Everyday I get up, ask God to forgive me, hold up my head and move on through the day.
I have made myself crazy trying to control something that I cannot, no matter how hard I try. I did not know for so long the alcoholism and addictions are a family disease. I did not understand for so long that help has always been just a heartbeat away. All I had to do was acknowledge that I could not run my own life and the lives of those around me. I am a co-dependent person who has come to terms with my defects and have humbly admitted to God that I am incapable of fixing anything. Have you ever tried to fix your own life using your own tools? Have you ever tried to fix an addict? Impossible! Billy is back in Lubbock. He has had a serious relapse.

I surrender to God. "Let go and let God." I have heard that phrase for a very long time, and it never connected in my head and heart until recently. Peace, oh what sweet peace comes with the surrender. Just today is all I have to contend with. Who knows if I will be here tomorrow?
New News
Baby Hudson is here! Our new addition to the family is here. Hudson Riley was born the 10th of May. He weighed in at 8 pounds and 3 ounces and was 21 inches long.

Griselda and Ishmael
Last Tuesday, the 27th of May, Griselda and Ishmael gave their lives to Jesus. They are the son and daughter-in-law of Georgina and Salvador. They have been a part of the home group that met in Malcolm and Tammy's house and now meets in their house.

Día De Los Niños
April the 30th is "Day of the Child." Our church fmily participated in this event with lots of toys in the town of La Union. Here are a few pictures of the evening.

Free Medical Clinic
The 12th through the 16th of May a free medical clinic was provided by a group of people from Abilene, Texas. The church in Lazaro Cardenas hosted the event ... but actually Malcolm and Tammy Pointon organized the affair. Three doctors, nurses, and a host of other people worked long, long hours. If my memory serves correctly, I think they saw around 500 people in 5 days. They were able to pray with lots of folks, and the seed of the gospel has been sown in this small pueblo of Los LLanos. One señora that came is in 107 years old. I hope to have pictures soon.


Dalit said...

So, so, so sorry... I'm sorry you are going through all this, and at the same time I am grateful God has given you this amazing peace and strength!
I love you,

flee said...

It amazes me how you have allowed God to work through you and change you in the process. I've known you a long time and can appreciate the process God has brought you through. I, too, am sad that you and Billy are going through this. I praise God that Billy is getting the needed help and also that you have peace. I'm praying diligently again for Billy and his recovery and for your family. Love you much pistolera....

Kristi said...

I know some people would never share all of this, but if we're honest Your's and Billy's story is OUR story too. We all fall and get back up daily and whether we're 'down' or 'up' God's love is deeper than our low and higher than our high and completely all over us. It is so encouraging to know your story and know I'm not alone.
I love you both,

Chadd said...

Belinda - We are with you today in prayer. love. Chadd and Nancy

Toni Burns said...

Belinda, I can not stop thinking about you. You have been in my prayers and thoughts so much. You are such a strong woman and I am thankful to God that you choose to be faithful through all. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. We love you very much - Toni

greg622 said...

what i remember: i remember visiting your home in lubbock and feeling your love for billy, amanda, amberlee, and andrew. i remember seeing a woman who loves the Lord and sensing a strength that is being brought to bear now. i remember visiting in mexico as a wet-behind-the-ears aimer and being inspired by your passion for the people of mexico. i remember a woman with a camera in ireland and watching your creative spirit move and listening to your stories and heart along the way.

i say these things to let you know that you made a difference in my life. you are a light in this darkened world. do not give up and do not get discouraged. take heart and know you and billy are prayed for. your life is a testament and an encouragement. thanks for the courage to be open and real.


Alexander said...

Hey Belinda,
I always love reading your thoughts, but today it was like I was reading me own! It's interesting when people start sharing the good, the bad, and the not so great moments of their lives with the people around them... they realize they are not alone, and sometimes see how much alike they are! I am so thankful for you, for your life, for your love, and for your ministry!

I saw Billy in Walmart about a week back. I knew he was here, but it still stunned me. I continue to keep him, you, and the whole situation in prayer. My heart is certainly with you!

With lots of love,

mercyshower said...

I was logged into someone elses account with my last comment... thought I had lost it for a moment and about freaked out! :)

tim rush said...

I just wanted to let you know that your whole family was being brought before God this morning in our group. We are really begging God for his intervention and peace and comfort that are beyond our expectation and understanding. Love you.