A Broken Heart
Greetings from Playa Azul...the place of tropical breezes and lots of salt. As most of you know I have been living in Playa Azul for a little over a year and most of it by myself. I can't say that this has been the most favorite place I have ever lived, but it certainly has been a learning and growing experience for me. I love the people, and I know they love me. I love what I do, and I am good at it. I was born to be a missionary. I have known for a very long time that sooner or later I would need to make some changes, and now the time is coming. I have had many nights of prayer asking for wisdom and pleading with God to tell me what to do with my life. I believe that this chapter of my life is finished, and it is time for me to move on.
I don't know if Billy is going to overcome his addictions. I don't know what will happen in the future concerning us. I leave that in God's hands. It has been said that Billy can never come back to Mexico or that he can't return for two years. Many theories have been theorized, but the bottom line is that it is between God and Billy. Mexico is not the problem.
There have been opinions and more opinions about what it is that I should and should not do with my life and about the time frame for the decisions that are being made or yet to be made. There has been so much input from so many people who have actually had very little to do with me in any form or fashion. Why does that happen?
My kids are so far away, and now with this illness of Noah, Jacob and Amanda are leaving. I applaude their courage and decision. Those of you who know them know that this decision has been heart breaking for them.
It has been nine months since I have seen my kids, and they have been to hell and back again with their dad. I have a grandson that I have not yet met. He will be five months old this month.
God has provided just what I need, and I am so thankful. I recently was informed that I am losing another huge chunk of support by the first of the year. I have been asking God for wisdom in knowing what to do, and today it became so clear. It is time to leave. I write this with a broken heart, but I am so tired of the struggle.
I need to be near my kids and grandkids. I need to be close, so I can be of help to Jacob and Amanda when they need it. I need to be in Lubbock to see what the future holds for Billy and myself.
I need a new beginning, and God is providing it. There are a few things that I need from my friends. I need your continued prayers and financial help to move. I need one time donations to help me move back to the States and get resettled until I can find a job. I am 54 years old and held my last nine to five day job punching a clock 33 years ago. I need your prayers. I am not afraid anymore, and I have been afraid a long time.
I don't know yet what the move will cost. Today I wrote the same company that is moving Jacob and Amanda. I am for certain that it will be more than $5000. It cost the Gray's that amount a year and a half ago...before the gas increase...so I am sure it will be more. I will have more information after this week. Right now I am in Mexico City helping Amanda and Jacob with their sorting and packing. We will be talking to the person that handles the details this week.
I just want to thank all of you who have stuck by me through the thick and thin. The prayers for our family have been amazing. I believe anyone who has followed this saga has grown in their own faith. Our God is good.
Donations can be sent to:
Lubbock Church of Christ
P.O. Box 2741
Lubbock, Texas 79408
Please ear mark it for the Belinda Moore moving fund. Sherry Fisher, the accountant and treasurer for the congregation, has been informed to watch for the incoming donations.
My friend and former teammate of Mexico City, Terry Fanning, will be collecting the money and sending it to me. Or you can send donations directly to him at:
Belinda Moore c/o Terry Fanning
4710 101 St.
Lubbock, Texas 79424
God's richest blessings on all of you.